From the moment Humph took the two small envelopes containing the scripts printed on postcards, the words became his. Which we thought was incredibly unfair, as no one else had ever complained. 25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes Winter: the season when we try to keep . ", "We call the next game Word for Word; it's a word game. Incidentally, new listeners to the programme may be interested to know that Colin Sell was a member of several pop groups in the 60's and 70's, some of which became quite well known after he'd left them. but couldnt manage three Shredded Wheat, Fifteen men on a dead mans chest. Barry was Old School; in his stand up act he told jokes. ", "I am assured that piano accompaniment is required for this round, and it appears that Colin Sell is unexpectedly available to provide it. Deadpan comedian Jack . 25 of Dara Briains best jokes and funniest quotes She says he's looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van. To claim that Humph didn't know what he was doing on Clue is, of course, complete nonsense. . Actually, we were interested to hear that Colin has recently been enjoying himself in the brass section. Now aged 103, Mr. Hinkler celebrated by repeating the event in October this yearand beat the train by seven and a half hours. . Thanks for that nugget . ", "Actually, Colin was telling us that he recently started on backing material with his new singer so if anyone needs some curtains run up", "Actually, listeners may be interested to hear that Colin doesn't only play the piano oh no. This is the game where the team are presented with the first half of memorable quotations to finish off: Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. After Chairman Humph, we got Have I Got News for You, They Think It's All Over, Never Mind the Buzzcocks and countless other comedy panel games, where the chairman appears not to want to be there and isn't too fond of either his guests or the subject matter. "Dear Mr. Gadaffi, You must be very proud. There's also Barrow-in-Furness which involves burning garden implements, Sellafield, where the object is to try to flog off a plot of contaminated land, and of course we musn't forget Broadstairs, a game for people who are too fat to use the lift. Then, Samantha says, she likes to watch as he rips the paper strips and wax off for her", "It just occurred to me that Samantha hasn't given us the scoressince 1981. This article was amended on 11 and 13 April 2022. As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades To see a man's true face, look to the photos he hasn't posted. Just imagine, it's a sunny Monday night in December in lovely Brighton, the cast of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue are singing one song out of tune to another, while Colin Sell has a disagreement with a grand piano. 29 of the most outlandishly funny Mighty Boosh quotes On 13 April 2002, during a round of Uxbridge English Dictionary in which new definitions are given to old words Stephen Fry offered: Countryside to kill Piers Morgan.. Is there a farm shop?, My locals rough as anything. In this game, the teams imagine what effect certain letters might have had on history, had they not gone missing: Dear Dr Guillotine, We shall be pleased to grant a licence for your automated haircutting device just as soon as youve addressed one or two safety issues weve identified. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is a BBC radio comedy panel game. 50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue | Tropedia | Fandom I was aware, when I started Clue, that it was a case of: Wed better get some women on, but there was no sense of making me feel unwelcome or awkward. To order a copy for 15.99 (incl p&p) call 0843 382 0000. She goes in every night to put him on downstairs, and then pulls him off on the landing. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - Series 56 - British Comedy Guide This page was last edited on 1 February 2023, at 00:16. Clue also survived the technical challenge of lockdown recordings on Zoom. Here is a compilatio. Valentines poems: 32 most romantic quotes from historys greatest poets Innuendo, tone-deaf singing and dreadful wages: as the cherished BBC panel game celebrates its half century, we look back at its finest moments and its future. Also, Samantha was usually the instigator of these alleged events she was never taken advantage of and also, finally, she didnt exist. The matter was eventually settled by alternating her duties with Sven, an equally libidinous male. When Humphrey Lyttelton was alive, and I'd meet fans of Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, and they discovered I wrote his scripts, the conversation would invariably go something like this: "It must be such a joy to work with Humph. Here are 10 of the funniest jokes written by kids 'Wait while someone comes on with piece of cardboard.'". Indeed, he often said he wanted to drive between gigs in a tradesman's van with "Humphrey Lyttelton: Purveyor of Blue-Chip Filth" written on its sides. Under I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue's founding compere, the late Humphrey Lyttleton, the Samantha jokes were widely recognised as masterpieces of wordplay and innuendo, but current host,. Jack Dee chairs the 78th series of the show. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue definitions - Tripadvisor Dec 12, 2005. mw963 Posts: 2,844. Condition: Very Good Very Good. I sometimes say that Clue went on three years too long, he says. Even now the authorities regularly uncover unstable cases carrying decaying material which have to be handled with the greatest of care. ", "Oh wait a minute, I've goofed. Barry Cryer, the much-loved British comedian and TV writer, has died at the age of 86 . The chairman, jazz trumpeter Humphrey Lyttelton, was an unusual choice, and he seemed appalled by the format, testily setting the length of one contest at two minutes, or as long as I can stand it. Iain Pattinson the man who wrote the gags for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, recalls his razor-sharp wit, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, 2023 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. Your new spectacles have arrived and are ready for collection. ", "Samantha has just started keeping bees, and already has three dozen or so. Dear Arch Druid of Wiltshire, You are hereby advised that planning permission has been denied for the erection of a large henge of stone. ", "It's well documented in official records that the City's original name was 'Snottingham', or 'Home of Snots', but when the Normans came, they couldn't pronounce the letter 'S', so decreed the town be called 'Nottingham' or the 'Home of Notts'. ", "Actually, we're all very excited for Colin, as he's been invited to play at a U-2 gigwhat great reunion dances those German submarine crews have. It's her first day, so apparently she's going to give a speech in the back room and hand jobs out in the office. I found it very frustrating. I'm pretty sure you have a perfect understanding cos your post makes absolute sense and we all recognise Corporal big ears Normie and Bomber wing ears Normie. Perhaps encouraging complaints about schoolboy humour was the fact that despite the early inclusion of Jo Kendall the stand-out panellists were for a long time blokes. Sell, on his living-room piano, could hear the panellists but, due to the time delay, they were singing half a bar behind. 50 of Frankie Boyles funniest (and darkest) jokes In fact, I have a cutting here from Jazz Monthly magazine, written by their top reviewer. "Samantha is off to see a chef gentleman friend who is renowned for his fine-quality offal dishes. (modern), Humph 'It didn't even occur to him that he was funny. Approaching what would have been his 87th birthday, he told an audience in Eastbourne: "It makes a nice change to be one of the youngest people in the room.". He was making notes to remind himself to point them out. ", "This week we can promise you a nail-biting contest followed by a nose-picking contest. Jeremy Hardy's best jokes: From Brexit to right wing hypocrisy I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (2008 TV Movie) Humphrey Lyttelton: Self - Host Showing all 17 items Jump to: Quotes (17) Quotes Humphrey Lyttelton : Incidentally, Colin's piano playing is widely believed by faith healers to hold miraculous powers. Is The White Sox' Season Already Lost? - MLB Trade Rumors The 70th series of the multi-award-winning comedy panel game chaired by Jack Dee. As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, . 30. Let's move on. "It happened some time . One of the best to date. 100 of the best knock knock jokes (some of which are actually funny) The sound isn't terribly good. In the modern world this is known as the Daily Mail. 'Risky, rude, brilliantly written and superbly performed' The Judges, Sony Radio Academy Award This second treasury contains over 30 hilarious editions of the awar d-winning 'antidote to panel games', first published as I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue Volumes 1 0 to 15, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue . Introduced as "the antidote to panel games", it consists of two teams of two comedians "given silly things to do" by a chairman. Like whoever created Neptune literally read what Poseidon's main powers were and was like "Ctrl C". Barry and I worked together for 50 years on I'm Sorry I Havent A Clue, and our gleeful spin off You'll Have Had Your Tea with Hamish and Dougal. What do you think? Jack Dee chairs the 75th series of the show. Because then you can say, if you think thats dirty, thats your mind not our words.. "Psycho Killer" to the tune of "Save Your Love" (Linda Smith) 34. ", "Nottingham is also famous for its links with football, and Notts County is proud to be the oldest team in the English leaguebut they hope soon to buy some younger players. ', Youre not helping to save the planet by sending e-cards instead of the real thing because every time I receive one I go out and cut down a tree., Have taken Southern Rails advice and carried a bottle of water with me in the hot weather. "Piano accompaniment will be provided by Co "But, I hear you ask, what possible use could there be for a dummy with two left hands? ", "This musical lament will be accompanied by Colin Selland music doesn't come more lamentable than that. Five iconic Barry Cryer jokes as beloved comedian dies at 86 - HITC I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (BBC Radio 4, 11 April 1972 - ) is a British radio comedy programme which describes itself as "the antidote to panel games ". ", "While Samantha nips out to enjoy a portion of local winkles in cider", "So as Samantha heads off to the Highland games to admire the contestants in the caber competition, and perhaps have a go at tossing one or two herself", "So while Samantha nips out to nibble on her favourite bit of Leicester", "Samantha has just started keeping bees, and already has three dozen or so. Mrs. Sell says it's the only thing that gets him up in the morning. I'm Sorry, I [Still] Haven't a Clue - The Guardian Did anyone say Mornington Crescent? Samantha is in charge of polishing, while he scrapes the varnish and wax off next to her. The show is introduced as "The Antidote to Panel Games" and consists of a panel of four comedians, split into two teams and "given silly things to do" by a chairman. Clued up Im Sorry I Havent a Clue historic innuendo star Stephen Fry, chair Jack Dee and late-lamented regular Victoria Wood. "When I'm Cleaning Windows" to the tune of "Walking in the Air" (Graeme Garden) 33. By I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - 50 And Not Out - British Comedy Guide I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Box Set Of 6 CD's Used | eBay Jeremy Hardy: remembering the comedians funniest jokes and quotes You can imagine how things were livened up in that turkey abbatoir. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue (BBC radio comedy), various - Archive Something wrong there. Much play was made of Humph as the "purveyor of blue-chip filth", and he liked that title. Well loved celebrities include Alan Bennett, and Barry Cryer used to know his milkman. Very well, let's move on.". We are no longer accepting comments on this article. Sometimes I wondered if producer Jon Naismith and I took too much advantage of his easygoing insouciance. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Quotes, Series 36 - 39 - ivorysky Orbison, of course, was nicknamed 'The Big O', and in turn, he affectionately referred to Colin as 'That Little C'", "Piano accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell, who tells me that his musical influences are Middle-Eastern in origin mostly Shi'ite!". Garden recalls a meeting with then BBC director general, Mark Thompson, at which Thompson cried: Double everyones pay!, Fees have remained unchanged since, say insiders. Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-taylor, Jack Dee Et Al, As the Honourable Member is perfectly aware, I have nothing to hide, Censors were appalled by Carry On films and wanted to give many X rated certificates, new files reveal, What Sean Connery will do if he doesnt get to church on Sunday, Australian for a Englishman made of stone, Cross between a screw top and a ring pull, How they describe a decade in the West Country, A boat makers first attempt at a coracle, A person who turns into a house at the Full Moon, A setting on Jonathan Rosss washing machine. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp And at the Naturistss Ball, please welcome, if you will: Mr and Mrs Gleebits and their son, Dan, From Poland, Mr and Mrs Vestov and their very keen daughter, Eva, The Right Honorable Mr Knott-Snowing and his lovely daughter, Gladys. The client was so impressed, he threw in a mivvi and a choc ice as well. He would delight in stopping, mid-performance, to announce that when he was supposed to say "genteel", for example, the script said "gentile". Actually, listeners will be impressed to learn that back in the 60's, Colin asked Mick Jagger and Keith Richard if he could take the place of Brian Jones. Aren't they a bunch of bastards, all that finger up the. Incidentally, we've just heard some great news - I'm very pleased to announce that the BBC have arranged a special collection of Colin's entire work they've bagged it up, & the council are sending some men round for it on Tuesday. She visits the old men down there every so often to get new material for the show, but it's a trifle unorganised down there. ", "Samantha nearly made it - she's been detained at the last minute in the city's Latin quarter. It preserves the soul from desiccation. No radio show has aided that cause greater than Im Sorry I Havent A Clue, the much-loved panel show that Lyttelton (right) chaired until his death four years ago. The inspiration was always there to do something more quirky, more daring, more stupid and, occasionally, even more outrageously knob-gag-laden. To calm things down, she had to keep them apart all morning." On 11 April 1972 at 12.25pm, between a You and Yours discussion on Whats new in playground equipment and a World at One report on Labour party turmoil over the Common Market referendum, BBC Radio 4 launched a comedy game show. 34 of Lee Evans funniest jokes and quotes Graeme Garden, who devised the show, is surprised by its longevity. Born in Farnborough, Hampshire, in 1961, Hardy gained recognition on the comedy circuit in the. Humphrey Lyttelton chairs the perennial antidote to panel games, The antidote to panel games. "Sorry I Haven't A Clue" Introduction Transcripts . She says she can't wait to get home and handle her new Phillips upright. 100 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds A Mrs Trellis of North Wales has written in to complain that the show has 'an enormous fistful of rampant innuendo rammed into every crack', but only a truly filthy-minded person would think such a thing. She's going to meet him at the monkey house, where he's often found swinging about with his charges. Dear Herr Hitler, Sorry for taking a while to get back to you. How did Blair take this weekly misrepresentation of his sexuality? So Id rehearse it one key and then, in the recording, put it up a bit higher to throw him.. Not Humph. She tells me she's got a man coming round who's keen to inspect her . ", "Piano accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell. Mayhew-Archers view is that we were able to get away with jokes in Clue that other shows couldnt because Graeme and Tim [Brooke-Taylor of The Goodies] and the others were revered. Just off to work now dear. 41 of Eddie Izzards funniest jokes and quotes I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: smuttiest jokes As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades . There was something about Samantha and cheesemaking - 'putting big blue veins in her Carephilly'. When Humphrey Lyttelton was alive, and I'd meet fans of Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, and they discovered I wrote his scripts, the conversation would invariably . ISIHAC - Games Compendium - M It may not have said so in his passport, but he was one of the wittiest comedians I ever met - one who could go off-script with the sharpest ad-libs. It's easy to understand why this change was resisted so fiercely by the people of Scunthorpe. "Dear Mrs Lawley, Here's an idea: How about a celebrity version of 'Desert Island Disks'? One of the first women to, as the show might put it, hold her own was Jan Ravens. Veteran comedian and unflinching miseryguts Jack Dee is set to embark on his first stand-up tour for six years. ISIHAC NEWSLETTER. ", "Welcome to ISIHAC where fun and laughter get on like a mouse on fire. . In fact, we heard from him earlier, singing 'You put your left leg in, You put your right leg in', and then realised he was reading from the instructions that came with his trousers. A Madrigal was a kind of medieval lament bemoaning the state of the world and harking back to mythical golden age which never existed. ", "Samantha tells me she has to nip out to help an old man next door who has trouble using his stairlift. ", "Some experts believe that it might take its title from a town in Ireland, which is generally associated with meaningless nonsense. Dandelion - camp Big Cat. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: The Best of Forty Years - Goodreads All rights reserved. Samantha has to nip off now as she's selling her seaside apartment. Weve always tried to do the show, says Garden, as if there were quite a severe BBC censor still in existence and we were obliged to get in the dirty jokes through innuendo rather than saying the words directly. Yes never mind all that, Sir, blow into this please, Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?. 45 of the funniest 8 out of 10 Cats jokes Im just suprised I haven't seen a chopper with the Diamond Dogs or MSF logos on them. ", "While Samantha nips out to warm up her little Morris", Samantha has to nip out now as she's got a new job working in the sound archive as the manager. P.S. Yours faithfully, Mrs Trellis. "Dear Mr. Duggleby, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why does my typewriter always stick on the letter 'Y'? Evil Lives Here 2023 S5E14 | Evil Lives Here 2023 S5E14 Pls - Facebook Someone in middle management says: Im not so sure about this line, then someone else isnt sure, either.. After Naismith selected a dozen from the archives, he had eight notes from management on things that had to be cut, and Im pleased to say I successfully disputed all but one. All quotes are by Humphrey Lyttelton unless otherwise stated. There can be no greater compliment to the performance of a script than for the audience to fail to notice there is one. Clued out former long-serving panellists Barry Cryer and Willie Rushton. . 1.7K views, 25 likes, 1 loves, 2 comments, 4 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Kimball Concert Association: Evil Lives Here 2023 S5E14 Pls Join Group :. the "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" appreciation thread . Clue (I'm Sorry I Haven't A) - Page 3 Digital Spy Bustard - very rude ominbus driver. . I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is greatest radio comedy, says panel Read more For his first 17 years as producer, says Naismith, he "was the only one to hear the show before it went out".. Yours sincerely, Mrs. Trellis, North Wales, Dear David Dickinson, I can sum up why the BBC have your programme on TV every night in three words: Cheap As Chips. The five funniest games from I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue Hilarious, embarrassing, and bizarre challenges set by the chairman, Jack Dee. As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down Im Sorry I Havent a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades. Its an approach that has captured in the shows single most celebrated one-liner. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue The self-styled antidote to panel games. Yours, Mona Lisa. "Dear Mr. Rees, I understand you're looking for suggestions for your 'Quote, Unquote' programme. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue's funniest definitions to make you smile Radio 4 broadcasters are discouraged from saying even the C-word, in case child listeners ask adults to spell the word out. Well loved celebrities include Alan Bennett and Barry Cryer. I'm Sorry I Haven't a ClueThe Complete Samantha (1993-2007) Hardy rose to prominence in the 1980s, winning the. For his first 17 years as producer, says Naismith, he was the only one to hear the show before it went out. Jack Dee's best jokes and funniest one-liners - iNews.co.uk He is key to the 50-year-old round One Song to the Tune of Another, whose highlights include performances such as Rob Brydon singing the theme from Spider-Man to Bring Him Home from Les Misrables, and the heroic tone-deafness of Jeremy Hardy. Fifty years on, Im Sorry I Havent a Clue is still in the same slot. He seems sure she's gonna make it big. Bliss. For info . Barry Cryer: My life on I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue | Radio Times 100 Funny One-Liners to Crack Up Your Friends Best Hilarious Jokes Dear King Harold, Good news! In which the teams introduce the guests arriving at a society ball, this time from the construction industry: Will you welcome please, Mr and Mrs Cotter-Tiling and their son, Terry, And from Ireland, Mr and Mrs ODoors and their son, Paddy, Mr and Mrs Antilers and their son Rufus, Mr and Mrs Loadabricks and their son Laurie, Mr and Mrs Duz-Merchants and their son, Bill. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: smuttiest jokes - The Telegraph 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland from Scotland, 29 best Gavin and Stacey quotes and funniest jokes from James Corden and Ruth Jones comedy Enforced Holiday. The comedian Jeremy Hardy has died, aged 57, leaving behind a legacy of formidable wit and humour. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - Complete Jokes - YouTube All rights reserved. Know what I like to do? a lamppost, Et tu. Since its inception 'Clue' has seen its success blossom from the impish son of 'I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again' to the big daddy of all panel games. Lyttelton's Britain: A User's Guide to the British Isles As Heard On BBC Radio's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, by Iain Pattinson, is published by Preface. The manageress at Dorothy Perkin's says if she catches him in there again, she'll call the police. ", "Samantha has to nip out now, as she is off to see a Scots trawlerman friend, whose vessel needs to go in for repairs. The 72nd series of the multi award-winning comedy panel game chaired by Jack Dee. She says she's got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration. I'm Sorry I Haven't a ClueThe Complete Lionel Blair (1993-2007) Mark Campbell 1.45K subscribers Subscribe 212K views 4 years ago A compilation of every single Lionel Blair joke (as. brightondome.org. Sincerely, Specsavers, The High Street, Hastings. Billed as "the antidote to panel games", it consists of two teams of two comedians being given "silly things to do" by a chairman. ", "Dear Mr Melly: Here's a great tip for removing any annoying little hairs that collect in the bath plughole: tempt them up with a carrot and pull them out by their long floppy ears. There was Colin & Garfunkel, Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mick Titch & Colin, The Electric Light Piano, & perhaps most interestingly, The Jackson Six. ", "Accompaniment here will be provided by Colin Sell at the piano. Most centred around his assistant and scorer, the ever-delightful Samantha. 16 of Barry Chuckles greatest jokes English writer, comedian and actor Barry Cryer has died at the age of 86. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue has been delighting fans since 1972. 72. #5. 31 Best Man jokes that will work for any wedding 2 days until dreams become reality. Jack Dee chairs the 76th series of the show. 34 of the best Valentines Day jokes and funniest one-liners ", "Actually, Colin was telling us before the show that he once toured Britain with The Monkees then Mr. Chipperfield promoted him to the elephants and gave him a bigger shovel. 50 Edinburgh Fringe one-liners that deserved to win Funniest Joke Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners BBC Radio 4 - I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - Episode guide The following are transcripts of those introductions.. Series 57, Episode 1. The Official website of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue or 'Clue' with Jack Now That's What I Call One Song to the Tune of Another - Blogger 75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips 30 of the best jokes about Theresa May Highlights from recent series of the perennial antidote to panel games. You know that whenever musicians hear that Colin's working with us, they're always very keen for news of the old maestro well, sadly, it's failed it's M.O.T. While being mocked by the others for his age and incompetence at trying to read a tricky retake, he stopped, gazed to the side for a moment, squinted, and asked: "Has the man in the end bed died?" Stephen Frys Countryside joke was first aired on 13 April 2002, not on 4 February 2010; and Lionel Blair didnt host Give Us a Clue, but was a team captain. Barry Cryer Dead: 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - Deadline For many years it was hosted by the jazz trumpeter Humphrey Lyttleton. Ballykissangel. I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, do you know, not once has she come round to see if Im all right. ", "Actually, it's been said that one has more chance of being struck by lightning than meeting a piano player like Colin Sell which is why we all spent most of last week standing out in the rain holding metal rods. Sometimes he would even read the stage directions. Samantha is in charge of polishing, while he scrapes the varnish and wax off next to her. ", "Samantha has to nip out now as she's got a new job working in the sound archive as the manager. ", "Well, it's time to meet the teams and I can honestly say you couldn't ask for four better comedians.
Thames Valley Police Fleet,
Brandon Fugal Religion,
Articles I
